Can childhood trauma cause infidelity? Which patterns are involved in the unravelling of a love relationship? Counselling psychologist Dr. Ingrid Artus clarifies what happens emotionally and physiologically, the effect of betrayal, dealing with trauma, and affairs as a possible form of addiction. She offers the antidotes to criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.
Dr Ingrid Artus discusses couples therapy in the context of BWRT:
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the negative spiral of events leading to potential affairs
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what differentiates “masters” from “disasters” of intimate relationships
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the meaning of partners’ turning towards, away from, or against each other
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the “four horsemen of the apocalypse”: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling:
what criticism entails and what the antidote is
what defensiveness looks like and how to handle it
a description of contempt – a fundamental reason for divorce – and how to change it
a definition of stonewalling – actually a freeze response – and a countermeasure
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why talk sometimes becomes useless when a couple experiences problems
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childhood trauma as a possible cause of infidelity
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why affairs can be a bizarre attempt to self-soothe and may become an addiction
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how BrainWorking® Recursive Therapy (BWRT) can help individuals deal with trauma, fear and historical or recent losses
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exploring partners’ core beliefs using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
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the top-down and bottom-up approach to facilitating a couple where trust has been broken
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which couples can be helped to successfully rebuild trust and heal their relationship
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ways for partners to calm themselves down
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Ingrid’s 3 tips for life.
In this episode, Ingrid mentions the work of John and Julie Gottman at The Gottman Institute which includes the SPAFF system; BrainWorking® Recursive Therapy (BWRT); Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT); the Gottman techniques; finger-pulse oximeters.
